remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
