I just saw a hot homeless man
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.