so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
