i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
