So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
