So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
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So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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