why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize