I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
