I wish i was in the wii world.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
