maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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