What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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