just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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