with your own penis?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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