Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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