Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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