only if we run a train.
done.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize