God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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