the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
