How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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