if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
