I bet he comes in French.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
