This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram