told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
