it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk