I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.