we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
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Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.