You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
