so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
