Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
