Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
