Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
