We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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