So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
