I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize