I'm going to rape someone's good day.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
