gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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