I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Buhtt sex?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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