Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
