So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
