There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
