but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
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I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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