Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
