nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
