Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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