you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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