im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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