youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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