She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
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my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
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The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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