How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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