How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
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