Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
