i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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