we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
