so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
