Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
