you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
