I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
