one two three fourrrrnication!
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She swung at the pinata with crutches
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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