maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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