I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
