For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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