Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You ate ashes out of my bong
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
