im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
