Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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