we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
