I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
