I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize