I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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