Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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